So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
