Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Hippo gnu deer
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize