i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
