Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
