i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
