Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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