I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
