I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
