is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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