If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
