alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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