I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
