i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
