dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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