I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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