what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
