I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
