if you like me you must not know who I am
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need a beard to bite.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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