So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Found the puke drawer
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
