Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
honey bunches of taint.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I touched a dick in church today
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
