I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
