so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
