NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
