so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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