I feel like I'm in dance class right now
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
