You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
