I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
