And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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