Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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