Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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