Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
