How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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