At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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