That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
