I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
