He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Randomize
