im drinking this country out of the recession.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
