She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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