If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
