I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
