Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
