My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
