Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
