mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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