Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I wish i was in the wii world.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
