Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
