think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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