Sponge bath it is.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
