i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
