i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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