Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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