seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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