I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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