on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize