i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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