your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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