At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
stop calling my apartment porn island.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I am mentally ready for anal.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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