Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
